I had only one day of peace.
The next day I began to feel a huge anguish in myself, which grew larger as time went by. I felt another presence inside my mind, a really aggressive and violent one.
And above all, wounded !
It was lost, with no hope of finding a way out, a glimpse of light.
I had no idea what is was about, but when I began to breathe, another aspect, even more incredible than the first one, appeared.
I spoke again to the lady, who was now beginning to be a good friend of mine, and in her presence the voice from within came out again.
It was another past-life aspect. Again a few hundreds of years ago. I was this time a priest somewhere in western Europe. I was not an ordinary priest, I was an Inquisitor!
A person who was once turned down from a spiritual group and found refuge in the church. He vowed revenge and vowed to force people to be good, to hear and obey the word of the Lord.
He vowed to make people be as he thought they should be. What followed was insanity. Cruelty. Torture.
He used any means neccesary to make people confess invented sins.
He put those poor humans through many sufferences.
Somewhere deep in his heart he knew it all along that it wasn't right, but he wanted to silence those
voices. I just couldn't believe it.
I was once a murderer? A cold-blooded, fanatic, religious criminal?
I have almost never gotten into a physical fight this life, I have a lot of friends and am very sociable.
Yet it seems that in the past that aspect of me did those things.
The inquisitor hated the others and punished them because he hated himself. He only wanted to destroy in the others what he hated about himself. It was just a reflection.
Yet the remembering did not stop here.
I felt inside me some of the emotions of the inquisitor after he died. He felt the pain of the victims, their struggle, their tears, their fear and anguish.
Only now did I understand the proverb that said: “What you do to others, you do to yourself”.
He tried to search for a light, to run away from those images but it was impossible.
They followed him everywhere.
This was hell. I know now that hell as imagined by the human consciousness and religion doesn't exist, that the Devil is just the other side of the coin, just a expression of duality, but hell as a state of being was something similar to what was happening to my past aspect, after that incarnation.
He somehow managed eventually to incarnate himself somewhere in the current Germany in the following life.
However the memories of his cruelty remained alive inside him.
He considered himself guilty of his past crimes, a guilt that stayed with him in his new body. He felt and knew that he was guilty for his past crimes.
He was ugly, poor and avoided by everyone.
He hated himself for what he did in his previous life. His deeds were still present in his consciousness.
What followed is that he endured the same tortures, the same brutalities and sufferings that he himself bestowed upon others in his previous life.
He was tortured and left dying outside the walls of a fortress.
He died soon after, but in his last moments, despite beeing wounded and tortured he felt he was free again. The voices of his past deeds began to be silent, and ne of his next incarnation was that of the man without legs, which i presented before.
The reason for his handicap was that he needed to try and make contact with his spirit, his inner self, and outer experiences would again have distracted him from this goal and taken him on another path.
For the person that I was back then, and who indentified himself with that body, that identity, it seemes as it was a curse from God, from the Universe.
But looking back, from a higher perspective, it was the perfect experience that I needed to get back on the journey of returning to my spirit. Of remembering who I really am.
I learned about traumatic experiences from my past aspects and about the reason there is behind such things.
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