I have gone in a few short years through some transformations that would have required entire lifetimes until now.
In this new era, in this new energy it is possible to do things different than in the past, and that is exactly what happened to me.
It felt really difficult at times, I felt that I couldn't overcome my aspects, my fears, my old belief systems.
I was down many times and felt overwhelmed.
However, I am for real, and my real choice to Live like a sovereign being, like the creator of my life, like a God an Earth was stronger than everything.
I actually began to feel like the God of my Life.
I feel peace, I feel trust in myself and perhaps the most important of all, I feel connected to my Spirit, my Divinity, my Real Self.
Although I am in human form and I enjoy it, I feel inside me the beauty and the calm of my Soul.
Many humans feel that connection only for a short period of time in early childhood, when the spirit isn't completely embodied in the human form, but later they become one with their role, with their respective aspect from that life.
I have gone through an interesting process until I got to this point, however it was completely worth it.
I can Live now, really live and enjoy Life and the present moment.
I can create whatever I want in this life. I don't have to worry about what is going to happen, I don't have to try to control things or to fear outer events or other people.
I know that things happen always in perfect order.
In the last years, learning from my past life aspects and from my own choices and experiences, I also began to understand the causes behind human experiences.
I have still to learn, but I began to see reasons and effects that are beyond the ordinary human mind, as of now. I learned to go out of the mind and into the feeling.
That doesn't mean that I have something against the mind, on the contrary it's a formidable tool without which we couldn't live on Earth, but I understand that the mind has its role and the awareness and feelings have theirs.
Of course I also have bad days, days when I feel down or drained, days when some aspects and doubts still come out, but this is not the norm anymore.
I have had this experience with past aspect integration, but I don't think it will be a norm for everyone.
There are other ways, but one thing is certain, no matter the road, every human will get to the point when it will reunite with his Divinity.
Either in this lifetime or after many more, the end result is certain.
Everyone will get back Home.
luni, 31 ianuarie 2011
My story so far part 12: A few things I realized on the way
I will enumerate a few things I have learned through personal experience from my life so far.
I'm sure some of them will resonate with some of you and be of use:
- It will sound weird from someone who just shared with you some of his past life experiences, but there is no Karma or destiny.
Yes, we choose sometimes limitation or experiences that help us go further in our journey to reunite with our divinity, but these thing happen only because and when we are unable to go further on our own.
If you are a conscious being, you can put an end to your karma right now, with just a simple choice.
That's all it takes.
There is no need for drama or suffering anymore, but you have to get out of the mass consciousness first.
A true creator is not bound by his past.
- Conscious and deep breathing is the tool that I found to be by far the most effective for me.
If you take a deep breath whenever faced with a situation instead of just reacting in your usual way from the past, it’s a clear sign that you give to yourself and the Universe that you want to do things different.
It changes the dynamics of the entire situation you are in.
Every time you feel fear, anxiety, thoughts that tell you are not good enough, worthy enough, thoughts of guilt, you just have to take a deep breath first. Before you try to analyze with your mind what’s going on and start a inner fight, just take a deep breath. In time you will find out ow useful such a simple, yet meaningful gesture is.
When you take a deep breath, you choose Life.
This tool was my greatest ally when facing my fears and aspects, and it had a great impact on my life.
- When the aspects came back I started to understand the real reasons and causes behind many of the human experiences.
And I understood, that no matter how difficult the challenges and experiences are, they are the best way for the respective being to eliminate the rocks that are blocking its path.
From a human perspective, when you see people dying, women getting raped, diseases, handicaps, limitations it makes no sense. It is horrible.
But from a soul level, from the higher level, everything happens in the perfect order, every experience is given for a reason, and never, never, the suffering lasts one second more than required for the healing.
My story so far is the example of this.
However, there is another way to do things, you don't have to go through suffering and drama. You can break out of the mass-consciousness any time you wish. But you have to really make a true conscious choice in that regard.
Once you feel that everything is in perfect order, although you will many times feel sorry and mercy for the others, you will also look at things also from a higher perspective and accept that all is well in their creation.
This is the real compassion!
The same is true for your own life and experiences. The moment you accept them, even though they were sometimes hard or painfull, the moment you realise it was the experience you created at the respective moment and it served for a purpose everything will change.
Once you accept everything in your life, your body, your relationships, your past, once you accept all of them, than you can change whatever you want, if at all something needs to be changed and live your life, in a way that reflects your real essence.
Once you stop fighting and opposing resistance to the world and the Life, a huge ammount of energy that was stuck before will be available to You. You will feel a huge relief not having to fight your fears in your mind all the time. You will feel a huge relief not having to worry about the future all the time.
Accepting things in your life and having complete trust in yourself, in your own Divinity, is one of the most challenging processes.
The difference between theory and practice is huge, I know it from my own experience, but the results are so much worth it.
We are not our past, we are not our experiences, we are not the labels that others put on us, we are not our aspects and our layers that we created.
We are far,far more grander than that. We are eternal. We are beautiful.
I feel and realise that with each passing day. If you wish, so can You!
I'm sure some of them will resonate with some of you and be of use:
- It will sound weird from someone who just shared with you some of his past life experiences, but there is no Karma or destiny.
Yes, we choose sometimes limitation or experiences that help us go further in our journey to reunite with our divinity, but these thing happen only because and when we are unable to go further on our own.
If you are a conscious being, you can put an end to your karma right now, with just a simple choice.
That's all it takes.
There is no need for drama or suffering anymore, but you have to get out of the mass consciousness first.
A true creator is not bound by his past.
- Conscious and deep breathing is the tool that I found to be by far the most effective for me.
If you take a deep breath whenever faced with a situation instead of just reacting in your usual way from the past, it’s a clear sign that you give to yourself and the Universe that you want to do things different.
It changes the dynamics of the entire situation you are in.
Every time you feel fear, anxiety, thoughts that tell you are not good enough, worthy enough, thoughts of guilt, you just have to take a deep breath first. Before you try to analyze with your mind what’s going on and start a inner fight, just take a deep breath. In time you will find out ow useful such a simple, yet meaningful gesture is.
When you take a deep breath, you choose Life.
This tool was my greatest ally when facing my fears and aspects, and it had a great impact on my life.
- When the aspects came back I started to understand the real reasons and causes behind many of the human experiences.
And I understood, that no matter how difficult the challenges and experiences are, they are the best way for the respective being to eliminate the rocks that are blocking its path.
From a human perspective, when you see people dying, women getting raped, diseases, handicaps, limitations it makes no sense. It is horrible.
But from a soul level, from the higher level, everything happens in the perfect order, every experience is given for a reason, and never, never, the suffering lasts one second more than required for the healing.
My story so far is the example of this.
However, there is another way to do things, you don't have to go through suffering and drama. You can break out of the mass-consciousness any time you wish. But you have to really make a true conscious choice in that regard.
Once you feel that everything is in perfect order, although you will many times feel sorry and mercy for the others, you will also look at things also from a higher perspective and accept that all is well in their creation.
This is the real compassion!
The same is true for your own life and experiences. The moment you accept them, even though they were sometimes hard or painfull, the moment you realise it was the experience you created at the respective moment and it served for a purpose everything will change.
Once you accept everything in your life, your body, your relationships, your past, once you accept all of them, than you can change whatever you want, if at all something needs to be changed and live your life, in a way that reflects your real essence.
Once you stop fighting and opposing resistance to the world and the Life, a huge ammount of energy that was stuck before will be available to You. You will feel a huge relief not having to fight your fears in your mind all the time. You will feel a huge relief not having to worry about the future all the time.
Accepting things in your life and having complete trust in yourself, in your own Divinity, is one of the most challenging processes.
The difference between theory and practice is huge, I know it from my own experience, but the results are so much worth it.
We are not our past, we are not our experiences, we are not the labels that others put on us, we are not our aspects and our layers that we created.
We are far,far more grander than that. We are eternal. We are beautiful.
I feel and realise that with each passing day. If you wish, so can You!
My story so far part 11: Another look at the Law of Attraction and Conscious creation
I find it to be an important subject for a lot of people in these days, so I will give my insights based on my personal experiences.
For me the ability to create your own life, by using choice and intention, was and still is one of the greatest joys of living in this earth.
However, until you reach that point you will have to face two of the most daunting tasks for a human: dealing with trust in yourself and dealing with your old belief systems.
These are actually the two things that create your reality.
As a human on this earth, you identify yourself with your situation: your body, your family, your social stance, your culture and even your mind. Most people consider themselves only as good as the above mentioned things.
Although many people know that they are not only their bodies, they know mentally and instinctively that they have a soul, they act as if they were just the body.
The same with the other stuff like their mind, their social stance and others.
Most humans identify themselves with the role they chose to play in this life.
The moment you go beyond the role, you can break free of this mass consciousness games. Your belief systems are your own limitations, they refer to the things that you think you can or cannot achieve in this life, and to the way you think that life on earth is functioning.
However the limitations that you set for yourself are based on your old experiences and belief systems, the moment you stop identyfying yourself with your role and feel that you are at your core a divine, sovereign being all things begin to change.
Trust is another core issue. I had little trust in myself at the beginning.
Now I know, that even if someone doesn't have trust in himself or herself at a given moment, if the respective person makes a conscious and real choice in gaining the trust he longed for, it will happen.
The first step to gaining trust in yourself is as easy as making a real choice in that regard.
As far as the practical part goes, I started by considering that visualisations, control of your thoughts and all the mental practices were the one that could create my life.
I then tried to think my way to materialization and even force things to happen.
I imagined exactly how things would be when I would materialise stuff and actually tried to see the details in my mind.
Looking back, this is a really difficult and unsatisfactory way of trying to create your own life.
It will work only to some extents, with mixed results and will drain the energy out of you.
Because it’s just a mental process.A control process.
When the aspects kicked in and hell broke loose, I found out that I couldn't control my thoughts anymore.
The “method” that has worked for me, since I first starting using this about 2-3 years ago, is different.
First of all, the choice you make must come from the Heart, not from the mind.
If you truly wish for something in your heart, you can feel the respective choice inside yourself.
You will feel it, it will be real for you. It won’t be just a mental process.
You will know that this is what you really want to do, what you really want to experience.
And here comes the other important part: You will let your choice go away.
Send it out in the Universe and let it come back in the best possible way for you at that moment.
You need trust in yourself and to stop every kind of control, you will need to trust yourself that it will happen, however it might not be in the form your mind expects it.
Your mind can only think about some limited number of variants, mostly based on past experiences, but your choice should not be limited by your mind.
At first it may look that you chose one thing and something else happened, but the events will make you realise that the perfect thing for you in that moment was manifested and it will lead you to your choice in the best way.
To summarize, the way I do it is the following: I make a real choice in my heart, feel its energy for a few moments, but don't bother with visualising,details and other mental stuff, just feel the energy of my choice inside me, and then I release it out in the Universe.
The response will come back in the best way, form and at the perfect time for me. That means not to control the outcome,it doesn't mean not to take action when it is needed. You will feel in yourself when you should act and when you should wait.
Synchronizations and signs will appear before you on the way to manifestation.
I have used this "method" for a few years now and it has worked like a charm.
I attracted friends, trips, living in new places, girlfriends, money, laptops, a car, answers, ideas, projects and other stuff. It has worked everytime, but the way it happened was unexpected most of the times, it was something my mind mostly couldn't anticipate.
However, it was always, without exception, the most suited thing for me at that moment, no matter the choice.
Another interesting thing, when you trust yourself you can really start enjoying the moment and stop worrying or planning about the future.
You can really start enjoying Life with all its wonders and little things that matter.
I'm telling you all these things because if I could do it, if it has worked for me, it can work for anyone who really wants it.
I really know that it's one thing to hear something in theory, and another thing to apply it in your own life, but you have to start from somewhere, if you wish so.
A few years ago i had no ideea and no training in this, so it's not about that.
Only one thing is important: To really want to be a creator and to really want to trust in yourself.
Things will unfold for you from then on and results will be far grander that what you can conceive now.
For me the ability to create your own life, by using choice and intention, was and still is one of the greatest joys of living in this earth.
However, until you reach that point you will have to face two of the most daunting tasks for a human: dealing with trust in yourself and dealing with your old belief systems.
These are actually the two things that create your reality.
As a human on this earth, you identify yourself with your situation: your body, your family, your social stance, your culture and even your mind. Most people consider themselves only as good as the above mentioned things.
Although many people know that they are not only their bodies, they know mentally and instinctively that they have a soul, they act as if they were just the body.
The same with the other stuff like their mind, their social stance and others.
Most humans identify themselves with the role they chose to play in this life.
The moment you go beyond the role, you can break free of this mass consciousness games. Your belief systems are your own limitations, they refer to the things that you think you can or cannot achieve in this life, and to the way you think that life on earth is functioning.
However the limitations that you set for yourself are based on your old experiences and belief systems, the moment you stop identyfying yourself with your role and feel that you are at your core a divine, sovereign being all things begin to change.
Trust is another core issue. I had little trust in myself at the beginning.
Now I know, that even if someone doesn't have trust in himself or herself at a given moment, if the respective person makes a conscious and real choice in gaining the trust he longed for, it will happen.
The first step to gaining trust in yourself is as easy as making a real choice in that regard.
As far as the practical part goes, I started by considering that visualisations, control of your thoughts and all the mental practices were the one that could create my life.
I then tried to think my way to materialization and even force things to happen.
I imagined exactly how things would be when I would materialise stuff and actually tried to see the details in my mind.
Looking back, this is a really difficult and unsatisfactory way of trying to create your own life.
It will work only to some extents, with mixed results and will drain the energy out of you.
Because it’s just a mental process.A control process.
When the aspects kicked in and hell broke loose, I found out that I couldn't control my thoughts anymore.
The “method” that has worked for me, since I first starting using this about 2-3 years ago, is different.
First of all, the choice you make must come from the Heart, not from the mind.
If you truly wish for something in your heart, you can feel the respective choice inside yourself.
You will feel it, it will be real for you. It won’t be just a mental process.
You will know that this is what you really want to do, what you really want to experience.
And here comes the other important part: You will let your choice go away.
Send it out in the Universe and let it come back in the best possible way for you at that moment.
You need trust in yourself and to stop every kind of control, you will need to trust yourself that it will happen, however it might not be in the form your mind expects it.
Your mind can only think about some limited number of variants, mostly based on past experiences, but your choice should not be limited by your mind.
At first it may look that you chose one thing and something else happened, but the events will make you realise that the perfect thing for you in that moment was manifested and it will lead you to your choice in the best way.
To summarize, the way I do it is the following: I make a real choice in my heart, feel its energy for a few moments, but don't bother with visualising,details and other mental stuff, just feel the energy of my choice inside me, and then I release it out in the Universe.
The response will come back in the best way, form and at the perfect time for me. That means not to control the outcome,it doesn't mean not to take action when it is needed. You will feel in yourself when you should act and when you should wait.
Synchronizations and signs will appear before you on the way to manifestation.
I have used this "method" for a few years now and it has worked like a charm.
I attracted friends, trips, living in new places, girlfriends, money, laptops, a car, answers, ideas, projects and other stuff. It has worked everytime, but the way it happened was unexpected most of the times, it was something my mind mostly couldn't anticipate.
However, it was always, without exception, the most suited thing for me at that moment, no matter the choice.
Another interesting thing, when you trust yourself you can really start enjoying the moment and stop worrying or planning about the future.
You can really start enjoying Life with all its wonders and little things that matter.
I'm telling you all these things because if I could do it, if it has worked for me, it can work for anyone who really wants it.
I really know that it's one thing to hear something in theory, and another thing to apply it in your own life, but you have to start from somewhere, if you wish so.
A few years ago i had no ideea and no training in this, so it's not about that.
Only one thing is important: To really want to be a creator and to really want to trust in yourself.
Things will unfold for you from then on and results will be far grander that what you can conceive now.
My story so far part 10: Stalingrad
One night I woke up after having a terrible dream.
Soon I realized that it was not just any ordinary dream, but I remembered through it another past life.
For some days before that I felt inside me a tension, a grief and a lot of fury, as if I had lost someone.
I was looking on the Internet at some pictures of my friends, when suddenly I saw this girl.
I've never met her before in this life, however I had a strange feeling about her.
I felt that I wanted desperatly to get back to her, to tell her that I'm ok.
I stopped for a moment:I didn't knew that girl, what kind of connection could I have to her and why do i feel this desire to be together again not only with her, but with the other friends I saw in the pictures.
A few days later I had the following dream: I was an actor and we were shooting a war scene.
We were some soldiers trying to defend some kind of a bunker and to repel the attackers.
When the attack began, suddenly, I wasn't in a movie anymore.
It was for real. We were axis soldiers in Russia. It was freezing cold, and we were attacked.
We tried to repel the enemy troops, but we were outnumbered.
Then I felt a huge pain in the back and woke up.
I was really impressed with that dream.
But I didn't think that it was for real, and was sure that my subconscious was making some connections to the fact that my grandparents fought in the second world war.
However, the next days, as that aspect returned, I felt that I didn’t have just a dream that night, but it was part of my past life. The girl that I saw in the picture was my wife from then.
I had a normal life for those times until the second world war broke out and we were sent to fight against the Soviet Union. I made a vow to come back safe to my beloved wife, to my beloved hometown and friends.
I was convinced that force and determination was going to bring me back home.
In that life however, I tried to control everything and achieve results by using my will.
It was actually a commom theme in those days. I had decided to resist life and everything it throws at me with brute force and will, fighting my way to get back HOME.
It didn't work and I was killed In Russia.
The interesting fact is that I have in this life a birth mark on my back, exactly in the place I felt the pain when I was shot.
As a human who was identifying myself with my body, situation and culture from back then, it was really painfull and uncomprehensible to not be able to return home.
But from the greater perspective, it was easier to die and start again from fresh, forgetting the horrors of the war and understanding that using control to achieve your goals, even if these goals seem appropriate, is not the way to go.
In a way, after that day in Russia, I had the possibility to come and end my reincarnation circles in this life, and to begin living as an awakened being.
Soon I realized that it was not just any ordinary dream, but I remembered through it another past life.
For some days before that I felt inside me a tension, a grief and a lot of fury, as if I had lost someone.
I was looking on the Internet at some pictures of my friends, when suddenly I saw this girl.
I've never met her before in this life, however I had a strange feeling about her.
I felt that I wanted desperatly to get back to her, to tell her that I'm ok.
I stopped for a moment:I didn't knew that girl, what kind of connection could I have to her and why do i feel this desire to be together again not only with her, but with the other friends I saw in the pictures.
A few days later I had the following dream: I was an actor and we were shooting a war scene.
We were some soldiers trying to defend some kind of a bunker and to repel the attackers.
When the attack began, suddenly, I wasn't in a movie anymore.
It was for real. We were axis soldiers in Russia. It was freezing cold, and we were attacked.
We tried to repel the enemy troops, but we were outnumbered.
Then I felt a huge pain in the back and woke up.
I was really impressed with that dream.
But I didn't think that it was for real, and was sure that my subconscious was making some connections to the fact that my grandparents fought in the second world war.
However, the next days, as that aspect returned, I felt that I didn’t have just a dream that night, but it was part of my past life. The girl that I saw in the picture was my wife from then.
I had a normal life for those times until the second world war broke out and we were sent to fight against the Soviet Union. I made a vow to come back safe to my beloved wife, to my beloved hometown and friends.
I was convinced that force and determination was going to bring me back home.
In that life however, I tried to control everything and achieve results by using my will.
It was actually a commom theme in those days. I had decided to resist life and everything it throws at me with brute force and will, fighting my way to get back HOME.
It didn't work and I was killed In Russia.
The interesting fact is that I have in this life a birth mark on my back, exactly in the place I felt the pain when I was shot.
As a human who was identifying myself with my body, situation and culture from back then, it was really painfull and uncomprehensible to not be able to return home.
But from the greater perspective, it was easier to die and start again from fresh, forgetting the horrors of the war and understanding that using control to achieve your goals, even if these goals seem appropriate, is not the way to go.
In a way, after that day in Russia, I had the possibility to come and end my reincarnation circles in this life, and to begin living as an awakened being.
My story so far part 9: The reason
As time went by, many aspects came back.
They weren't all related to past lives, but it seems that there were a lot of wounds left behind.
I’m going to write in this chapter what I know about the aspects, so one can understand the reason why I mentioned them and their role in my journey.
What is an aspect? It is a part of yourself, a role that you as a being created.
We all create aspects, roles that we play in our lives: We have a role as part of the family we were born in, a role related to our job, one related to our social status, to the relationship status and so on.
We create and play hundreds of such roles during a lifetime, from the most unimportant ones to the ones who define us, or so we think.
The problem occurred when we forgot who we really are, and started identifying ourselves with the roles, or aspects, that we were playing. And that happened many lifetimes ago !
These aspects you created begin to have a will of their own which they use upon your mind, where they fight for gaining energy, if you are unaware.
How many times have you not felt that you are unworthy, or not good enough or heard a voice that was telling you that you are inferior to others?
Or perhaps a voice that paralyzed you with fear regarding a certain subject that is delicate for You?
These are all aspects, and although the physical body dies, they remain alive in a state of consciousness and transfer from one life to another, depending on the respective being.
Why did the aspects come back to me this life, when I was a completely different person? Because I made a choice before I was born in this lifetime.
I made a choice that this life I am going to end the circle, and I am going to live as an awakened being.
These wounded and hurt past-life aspects feel that there is the time to come home.
They still existed somewhere deep inside me, in a corner of my consciousness.
When they are willing to come back and seek resolution, they bring you their energy with them.
After you integrate them, you can use that energy who is now available to you to create the life that you want.
They will test you and see if you are for real, if you really want to live as a conscious being.
They seek light, they seek resolution, but also they will oppose resistance, because in a way, once they come back, they die as an identity.
They will still try and control your mind, and gain energy through that.
This is exactly what happened for me the following months and years.
I felt the aspects in my mind and tried to argue with them, fight them and so on.
The only thing that works is to know who you really are and not give away your energy to them, not try to fight mentally with them or convince them through your mind, because you will only lose that way.
It's not easy because you feel them inside, you feel their energy, but once you make a clear choice, from the heart, the power to get past them will show up from inside of you.
You are their creator, so no inner voice, feeling, role, aspect is stronger than You !
Back to my story, after each aspect I integrated I felt more and more connected to my soul.
I began to feel a beauty inside me, a peace that I only felt as a child.
I began to trust myself, my choices and also to understand that everything happens for a very good reason and in a perfect order.
I’m saying that not as a mental statement, but as a feeling and a truth inside me.
I have learned a lot about life from my past aspects also.
Every experience, every trauma is a way to bring you forward to the one big goal of your lives: To reunite yourself with your essence!
Duality is the way to achieve it, without duality you still remain in a primary state.
You are one with your essence, but you don't know it by experience.
You are like a child, who lives that state but is not aware of it.
Only through personal experience you come back to that primordial state, but not as a child, as a conscious being, aware of who he really is.
Before I jump to conclusions, I want to share with you another one of my past lives, because it is related to the first question i have asked, even before i started my spiritual journey:"Why do things happen that way?"
They weren't all related to past lives, but it seems that there were a lot of wounds left behind.
I’m going to write in this chapter what I know about the aspects, so one can understand the reason why I mentioned them and their role in my journey.
What is an aspect? It is a part of yourself, a role that you as a being created.
We all create aspects, roles that we play in our lives: We have a role as part of the family we were born in, a role related to our job, one related to our social status, to the relationship status and so on.
We create and play hundreds of such roles during a lifetime, from the most unimportant ones to the ones who define us, or so we think.
The problem occurred when we forgot who we really are, and started identifying ourselves with the roles, or aspects, that we were playing. And that happened many lifetimes ago !
These aspects you created begin to have a will of their own which they use upon your mind, where they fight for gaining energy, if you are unaware.
How many times have you not felt that you are unworthy, or not good enough or heard a voice that was telling you that you are inferior to others?
Or perhaps a voice that paralyzed you with fear regarding a certain subject that is delicate for You?
These are all aspects, and although the physical body dies, they remain alive in a state of consciousness and transfer from one life to another, depending on the respective being.
Why did the aspects come back to me this life, when I was a completely different person? Because I made a choice before I was born in this lifetime.
I made a choice that this life I am going to end the circle, and I am going to live as an awakened being.
These wounded and hurt past-life aspects feel that there is the time to come home.
They still existed somewhere deep inside me, in a corner of my consciousness.
When they are willing to come back and seek resolution, they bring you their energy with them.
After you integrate them, you can use that energy who is now available to you to create the life that you want.
They will test you and see if you are for real, if you really want to live as a conscious being.
They seek light, they seek resolution, but also they will oppose resistance, because in a way, once they come back, they die as an identity.
They will still try and control your mind, and gain energy through that.
This is exactly what happened for me the following months and years.
I felt the aspects in my mind and tried to argue with them, fight them and so on.
The only thing that works is to know who you really are and not give away your energy to them, not try to fight mentally with them or convince them through your mind, because you will only lose that way.
It's not easy because you feel them inside, you feel their energy, but once you make a clear choice, from the heart, the power to get past them will show up from inside of you.
You are their creator, so no inner voice, feeling, role, aspect is stronger than You !
Back to my story, after each aspect I integrated I felt more and more connected to my soul.
I began to feel a beauty inside me, a peace that I only felt as a child.
I began to trust myself, my choices and also to understand that everything happens for a very good reason and in a perfect order.
I’m saying that not as a mental statement, but as a feeling and a truth inside me.
I have learned a lot about life from my past aspects also.
Every experience, every trauma is a way to bring you forward to the one big goal of your lives: To reunite yourself with your essence!
Duality is the way to achieve it, without duality you still remain in a primary state.
You are one with your essence, but you don't know it by experience.
You are like a child, who lives that state but is not aware of it.
Only through personal experience you come back to that primordial state, but not as a child, as a conscious being, aware of who he really is.
Before I jump to conclusions, I want to share with you another one of my past lives, because it is related to the first question i have asked, even before i started my spiritual journey:"Why do things happen that way?"
My story so far part 8: Pouring in
I had only one day of peace.
The next day I began to feel a huge anguish in myself, which grew larger as time went by. I felt another presence inside my mind, a really aggressive and violent one.
And above all, wounded !
It was lost, with no hope of finding a way out, a glimpse of light.
I had no idea what is was about, but when I began to breathe, another aspect, even more incredible than the first one, appeared.
I spoke again to the lady, who was now beginning to be a good friend of mine, and in her presence the voice from within came out again.
It was another past-life aspect. Again a few hundreds of years ago. I was this time a priest somewhere in western Europe. I was not an ordinary priest, I was an Inquisitor!
A person who was once turned down from a spiritual group and found refuge in the church. He vowed revenge and vowed to force people to be good, to hear and obey the word of the Lord.
He vowed to make people be as he thought they should be. What followed was insanity. Cruelty. Torture.
He used any means neccesary to make people confess invented sins.
He put those poor humans through many sufferences.
Somewhere deep in his heart he knew it all along that it wasn't right, but he wanted to silence those
voices. I just couldn't believe it.
I was once a murderer? A cold-blooded, fanatic, religious criminal?
I have almost never gotten into a physical fight this life, I have a lot of friends and am very sociable.
Yet it seems that in the past that aspect of me did those things.
The inquisitor hated the others and punished them because he hated himself. He only wanted to destroy in the others what he hated about himself. It was just a reflection.
Yet the remembering did not stop here.
I felt inside me some of the emotions of the inquisitor after he died. He felt the pain of the victims, their struggle, their tears, their fear and anguish.
Only now did I understand the proverb that said: “What you do to others, you do to yourself”.
He tried to search for a light, to run away from those images but it was impossible.
They followed him everywhere.
This was hell. I know now that hell as imagined by the human consciousness and religion doesn't exist, that the Devil is just the other side of the coin, just a expression of duality, but hell as a state of being was something similar to what was happening to my past aspect, after that incarnation.
He somehow managed eventually to incarnate himself somewhere in the current Germany in the following life.
However the memories of his cruelty remained alive inside him.
He considered himself guilty of his past crimes, a guilt that stayed with him in his new body. He felt and knew that he was guilty for his past crimes.
He was ugly, poor and avoided by everyone.
He hated himself for what he did in his previous life. His deeds were still present in his consciousness.
What followed is that he endured the same tortures, the same brutalities and sufferings that he himself bestowed upon others in his previous life.
He was tortured and left dying outside the walls of a fortress.
He died soon after, but in his last moments, despite beeing wounded and tortured he felt he was free again. The voices of his past deeds began to be silent, and ne of his next incarnation was that of the man without legs, which i presented before.
The reason for his handicap was that he needed to try and make contact with his spirit, his inner self, and outer experiences would again have distracted him from this goal and taken him on another path.
For the person that I was back then, and who indentified himself with that body, that identity, it seemes as it was a curse from God, from the Universe.
But looking back, from a higher perspective, it was the perfect experience that I needed to get back on the journey of returning to my spirit. Of remembering who I really am.
I learned about traumatic experiences from my past aspects and about the reason there is behind such things.
The next day I began to feel a huge anguish in myself, which grew larger as time went by. I felt another presence inside my mind, a really aggressive and violent one.
And above all, wounded !
It was lost, with no hope of finding a way out, a glimpse of light.
I had no idea what is was about, but when I began to breathe, another aspect, even more incredible than the first one, appeared.
I spoke again to the lady, who was now beginning to be a good friend of mine, and in her presence the voice from within came out again.
It was another past-life aspect. Again a few hundreds of years ago. I was this time a priest somewhere in western Europe. I was not an ordinary priest, I was an Inquisitor!
A person who was once turned down from a spiritual group and found refuge in the church. He vowed revenge and vowed to force people to be good, to hear and obey the word of the Lord.
He vowed to make people be as he thought they should be. What followed was insanity. Cruelty. Torture.
He used any means neccesary to make people confess invented sins.
He put those poor humans through many sufferences.
Somewhere deep in his heart he knew it all along that it wasn't right, but he wanted to silence those
voices. I just couldn't believe it.
I was once a murderer? A cold-blooded, fanatic, religious criminal?
I have almost never gotten into a physical fight this life, I have a lot of friends and am very sociable.
Yet it seems that in the past that aspect of me did those things.
The inquisitor hated the others and punished them because he hated himself. He only wanted to destroy in the others what he hated about himself. It was just a reflection.
Yet the remembering did not stop here.
I felt inside me some of the emotions of the inquisitor after he died. He felt the pain of the victims, their struggle, their tears, their fear and anguish.
Only now did I understand the proverb that said: “What you do to others, you do to yourself”.
He tried to search for a light, to run away from those images but it was impossible.
They followed him everywhere.
This was hell. I know now that hell as imagined by the human consciousness and religion doesn't exist, that the Devil is just the other side of the coin, just a expression of duality, but hell as a state of being was something similar to what was happening to my past aspect, after that incarnation.
He somehow managed eventually to incarnate himself somewhere in the current Germany in the following life.
However the memories of his cruelty remained alive inside him.
He considered himself guilty of his past crimes, a guilt that stayed with him in his new body. He felt and knew that he was guilty for his past crimes.
He was ugly, poor and avoided by everyone.
He hated himself for what he did in his previous life. His deeds were still present in his consciousness.
What followed is that he endured the same tortures, the same brutalities and sufferings that he himself bestowed upon others in his previous life.
He was tortured and left dying outside the walls of a fortress.
He died soon after, but in his last moments, despite beeing wounded and tortured he felt he was free again. The voices of his past deeds began to be silent, and ne of his next incarnation was that of the man without legs, which i presented before.
The reason for his handicap was that he needed to try and make contact with his spirit, his inner self, and outer experiences would again have distracted him from this goal and taken him on another path.
For the person that I was back then, and who indentified himself with that body, that identity, it seemes as it was a curse from God, from the Universe.
But looking back, from a higher perspective, it was the perfect experience that I needed to get back on the journey of returning to my spirit. Of remembering who I really am.
I learned about traumatic experiences from my past aspects and about the reason there is behind such things.
My story so far part 7: The Awakening
"The voice who invaded my mind was from a person.... a person who had no legs"! said I.
He's lying in the bed, sometimes watching outside through the window, he is surrounded by people who care about him and feel that is their responsability to take care of him. However he is disrespecting them in any way he can, he is yelling and cursing the people around him, although they are only trying to please him.
He's hating them because they are free, while he is just a handicapped person, with no legs, cursed by God and the Universe.
That person, a few hundred years ago, was me!
It was my incarnation, and somehow it was coming back. Instantly I felt a relief, and the power of the voice upon me disappeared. On the way home I couldn't believe what happened. My mind began to question everything, doubting everything, yet I knew it was true. I just knew it.
I felt relieved, like a huge burden was being lifted off my chest. For the first time in months I felt peace inside.
I could again enjoy the simple things in life. I felt like reborn again.
I understood why I love sports so much this lifetime. I played tennis, football, basketball, I went skiing, swimming, body-building and I still enjoy it.
I love to be in-form and work out. One reason for that was because deep inside me, in my DNA, I remembered how it was to be handicapped and not able to enjoy life to it's fullest, from a human perspective at least.
However I didn't understand why... why I had to go through such a challenging experience.
The answer would come very soon.
He's lying in the bed, sometimes watching outside through the window, he is surrounded by people who care about him and feel that is their responsability to take care of him. However he is disrespecting them in any way he can, he is yelling and cursing the people around him, although they are only trying to please him.
He's hating them because they are free, while he is just a handicapped person, with no legs, cursed by God and the Universe.
That person, a few hundred years ago, was me!
It was my incarnation, and somehow it was coming back. Instantly I felt a relief, and the power of the voice upon me disappeared. On the way home I couldn't believe what happened. My mind began to question everything, doubting everything, yet I knew it was true. I just knew it.
I felt relieved, like a huge burden was being lifted off my chest. For the first time in months I felt peace inside.
I could again enjoy the simple things in life. I felt like reborn again.
I understood why I love sports so much this lifetime. I played tennis, football, basketball, I went skiing, swimming, body-building and I still enjoy it.
I love to be in-form and work out. One reason for that was because deep inside me, in my DNA, I remembered how it was to be handicapped and not able to enjoy life to it's fullest, from a human perspective at least.
However I didn't understand why... why I had to go through such a challenging experience.
The answer would come very soon.
Abonați-vă la:
Postări (Atom)